Things have escalated. The times are trying and at times, people seem like they’re after my back to persecute me. It’s a rather perplexing predicament.
Shutting in? It’s still not healthy, and if I’m going to hold the last few cords keeping me together, I’ll have to move off them soon. Questions will be raised as to what and how, and if this is all really right; a reasoned, balanced judgement still must be made, at least to some extent (as my bureaucracy is with counsel…). But time is running out, more than ever. These strains are placing their knives to the throat of some very important strands of mind. Letting one of these fall would be enough to cause some very, very, very serious damage to whatever remains of my sanity.
Well, not that I’ve lost it.
And yet, I still question what, how? Corruption exists; to what extent? What amends will be made? Could I accidentally exacerbate the precarious situation, irritate yet more of my friends; hide, and create backstabbing and mutual mistrust by overcaution?
Whatever it is, there will be expression. It’s been too long.
Running; across all worlds, virtual, mental fantasy, real. Running, across escapism, from mistrust and misunderstanding, persecution and solitude, and trying to fill the void with what I never could myself. Running with what I have left of a soul, and order; running from corruption and without the tools to express it, and to keep an appreciation of reason, understanding and respect. I’d rather die first.
The fact is there. It needs to go to paper, words, diagrams or else. It needs to know it can be acted on. It needs to know hope exists in change of direction. It needs to know that corruption can’t take what’s left or punch through integrity, into the mental sanctum.
The last front. The last war. My mind and I; we are ready, and we will defend the last link to sanity to our death (not that I’m planning that any time soon… you’ll have to put up with me for a while yet ;) )